On Saturday, AB and I toddled off to Dulwich Sports club where the lady RK was hosting one of her now legendary Cricket Picnics, AKA, The Cricknic. Evidently you are supposed to actually watch some cricket as well as stuff your face with wine and cake, but I find you can bluff this bit by watching the other spectators and simply clapping when they do. Of course, you do need to be sure that other other spectators are supporting the same team as you, as misplaced celebration is not really the done thing. Also not really the done thing: bringing your own booze, therefore pulling a bottle of pink cava out of your bag with a flourish and saying “ta da!!!” should be avoided. Also not really the done thing: loudly discussing breastfeeding techniques, complete with actions.
My Cricknic cred safely ruined, I got on with the matter at hand: eating and gossiping. It was then that my friend revealed that she had been at college with a famous person. Oooh, who? I can hear you ask. Jude Law? Gok Kwan? The fat lady off Eastenders? Not quite. She went to college with Iggle Piggle. And there you have a sentence to divide my readership neatly into two halves (one of you on each side hahahaha. ahem). One half of you are amused or impressed. The other half are wondering if this is a hot new band, maybe a kooky electro trio that you’ve somehow missed, and you’re frantically checking the festival line ups. More fool you if you are, as you should know me well enough by now to know that I am the last person to be aware of any new music, given that my musical appreciation made it to Girls Aloud and then stopped. If you are in the latter group you probably still have a modicum of cool about you. If you are in the former group, you are a parent, or an aunt/uncle, or you are under 5.
Iggle Piggle, is, of course, as one of my mum friends put it “A giant blue thing with a blanket”, starring in what is probably the biggest children’s TV success at the moment: In The Night Garden. Said man in his furry blue suit can be found on Cbeebies twice a day, prancing around a pretend garden and then refusing to go to bed. He has a variety of friends who also prance around: a squeaky girl who can pull her dress up at a moment’s notice, via a special lever on her waist (ummm); lots of little pegs in clothes that all live in a tiny house together (some have moustaches); a few stripey dudes, don’t really know what they do; an airship thingy, and a giant poo on a trike. I guess you just have to see it for yourself.
It’s actually quite cute, and does have very beautiful music for a children’s TV show. Unfortunately, my daughter disagrees and has shown no interest in it whatsoever, despite the vast array of merchandising available for her future wearing/playing/causing of parental financial ruin.
Oh, by the way, if you are in neither of the above groups, you are either over 50 or on the social services register. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.