Crouching Tiger, Hidden, um, Tiger…

So I did manage to spend my birthday cashola, hooray!! Bought a fabulous stripey top from French Connection, hooray!! Said top shrunk to half the size the first time I washed it, booo!! So, during a shopping trip with the Lady A, I marched it straight back to the shop with my complaining face on. That’s my official compliant face rather than the general complaining about weather/mess/my hair face.

French Connection was staffed by a middle aged man who clearly didn’t believe my claims of washing it as per the instructions. “Yessss……but did you hand wash it?”, he asked, after I’d already said I had, looking me up and down, and openly writing me off as somebody who doesn’t do handwashing. To be fair I was wearing Ant’s jeans, accessorised with a crumb covered baby, so he kind of had a point.

He asked me if I wanted another one. Nope, I didn’t want another one since presumably it’s made of the same fabric and I would have to come back a week later with another shrunken jumper. “Well,” he said, rather defensively, “we haven’t had any others returned for this reason”. I just looked at him, with an expression which said “I am trying to process how that may be relevant to me” (AKA “bothered”).

Finally, refund sorted, A and I set off to Top Shop in the hope of finding something to fill that stripey top shaped hole in my wardrobe. 2o minutes in and I hit the jackpot – a glorious grey knitted jumper, sporting a sequinned tiger motif. Yes, that’s right. A SEQUINNED TIGER. Just drink in the glory of that. I thought it was wonderful. A thought differently. “Is it a space invader??”, she asked, squinting at the top. No, it was not a space invader, it was a tiger, OBVIOUSLY.

Her reaction to the magnificence of the tiger top was lukewarm to say the least, but there’s no fooling me. It was fuelled by shame that she couldn’t see the tiger, like those magic eye pictures in the early 90s: Person A – “I can see it! I can see the dinosaur!” Person B – “It’s the pyramids”

I didn’t buy the top, I bought a pair of jeans instead, a few days later. They are nice but they are no tiger top. Sigh…..tigers….sequinned ones….

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2 Responses to Crouching Tiger, Hidden, um, Tiger…

  1. Ant says:

    Two things.
    1. It’s a sailboat in the magic eye picture.
    2. Can I have my jeans back?

  2. RK says:

    Restaaaaalll we need more blogs! Some of us have 8 hours of office work to waste…

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