Today, my food intake as been as follows: 1 raisin and cinnamon bagel, 1 croissant, a whole bag of pumpkin rice cakes (sorry, AB) and 2 slices of toast. Er, 5 a day, anyone? No? Suffice to say Mr Atkins has not been invited to cross my (increasing, if you want the truth) threshold. Today is a bad day, honestly I’m not usually quite so carblicious but I have never and will never join the hordes of New Year Dieters (that’s people starting a diet on 1st Jan, by the way. Not all the people who make it their New Years Resolution to change their name to Dieter).
A January diet. A diet at the most miserable time of the year. Why why why for the love of all things sugary and alcoholic would you do that? Christmas is over, the weather is cold and grey, you’ve eaten your body weight in quality street (even the ones you don’t like because it was Boxing Day and Shrek was on and you were desperate), you’ve grudgingly put Phil Spector’s Christmas Album back on the shelf and your bottle of Baileys is nearing the end and you know you can’t buy any more because that would just be plain wrong and on any case it isn’t on special offer any more anyway. Oh, oh, oh….the misery. What could possibly make it worse? How about we willingly agree to not eat or drink anything nice for 31 days? Oh, and don’t even get me started on Martine McCutcheon and her annual attempt at getting us all to start a yoghurt only diet on the day after Boxing Day. Piss off, Martine! Just because you’ve done bugger all since Love Actually, there’s no need to take it out on me.
I’ve been rebelling this year. Added to my usual post-Christmas sulk is the fact that we kinda rushed Christmas 2010, what with us taking the little step of promising the rest of our lives to each other just before the bearded fatso was due down the chimney, AND the pesky little stranded-on-honeymoon-until-just-before-christmas-eve debarcle (nice one, Heathrow!). So I didn’t get my favourite run-up-to-christmas-bit, therefore I think you will find that I am owed at least an extra 3 weeks worth of festivities. So, I did take my decorations down but the Baileys is still very much in action. Cheers! Tidings of comfort and joy, and that.
And another thing!
I added a Twitter thingy here and it’s stuck in the past, refusing to update. I have made so many inane and pointless comments since then. If anyone knows how to give it a good virtual kick and get it moving again I would be most grateful. Many thank yous.