Mr Bloom makes the ladies swoon.

Must. Not. Make. Smutty. Cucumber. Innuendo...

As a married laydee, it’s not in my nature (or best interests, let’s be honest) to look for other men to perv. I am quite happy with the one I’ve got, as he is, for want of a better phrase, A Bit Of Alright. Lucky Me. However, sometimes, pervable material just gets thrown in your face. Like, literally, in your living room, via Mr Bloom’s Nursery, a children’s TV about gardening. Yes, gardening! I’ll get to that later.

Anyhoo, our hero is a tank top clad, shaggy haired pretendy northerner whose aim in life is to interest our littluns in growing their own veg. What a man! He is also A Bit Of Alright. Now don’t misunderstand me, I’m not about to leave my husband and go off in search of some good lovin’ his potting shed. But us mums, with our lives full of stickers and babybels and bum and nose wiping, we need a bit of hot stuff on ours screens (because let me tell you, children’s TV is not exactly rife with totty). And I am not the only one. Type ‘Mr Bloom’ into Google (purely for research purposes, you understand), and you will see multiple links to discussions on parenting forums, with mums discussing the matter, all saying, essentially, “phwoarr”.

Now I bet you think this is just another Hayley-banging-on-about-something-insignificant post, don’t you? You’re probably thinking *sigh* she’s been away for ages and she comes back with this?? Really? Well, postpone your tuts, people, because I am about to Get Topical.

It was reported recently that London’s green spaces have reduced by 7,400 acres in 10 years. 7,400!! that’s quite big. This is attributed mainly to paving and decking outside spaces instead of having good ole fashioned grass. This, to me, is a bit bonkers, especially in London where you pay a premium for outside space. I think the general justification is that paving/decking is less maintenance. Well, I’ve got a low maintenance garden for you – a park! You don’t have to cut the grass or anything. Why would you pay a fortune for a garden and then, like, not have a garden. Weirdos. Plus less grass raises the risk of flooding doncha know.

So I am very pleased to see someone on the telly box encouraging a love of growing in our little people. And it kinda helps if that person is a bit twinkly eyed, with some pretty hot nonchalant gate-leaning action…and some cable knit….and….er, oh, sorry. Are you still here?


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One Response to Mr Bloom makes the ladies swoon.

  1. Lucy says:

    There is something very wrong with you Mrs

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